The Playwright Kirk Wood Bromley, 2008
The Welcome Mask
one of three plays in the trilogy, Three Dollar Bill – Plays on Being Queer and Conservative
Mom- Hi, son.
Son- Hi, mom.
Dad- Don’t you see, mother?
Mom- See what?
Dad- On his face?
Mom- I see nothing on his face.
Dad- Tell her what it is, son.
Mom- No! Let me guess. A carpeted jellyfish.
Dad- Can’t you see the mucous mysteries,
The bleak expositorial crevace,
The impractical tools, the fluffy wibbles?
Mom- A watermelon raised by wolves?
Dad- Can’t you see the plaguey clitoral hood?
Mom- The pancreas of an inside-out barber?
Son- It’s a vagina, mom.
Mom- Is it really?
I can’t say I’ve ever seen one of those.
Dad- Now you can, cuz it’s right there on his face!
Mom- It’s not as blurry as I’d pictured it.
Son- I got it from this goofy dude who lives
In a fit of grief.
Mom- Is the vaginamum
Related to the chrysanthemum?
Son- It’s a sex organ, mom.
Mom- What, like a piano
That gets softer the harder you pound it?